finding joy in the journey.

Let’s be real, our journey to three hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns. We’ve fallen more times than we can count, only to get up after each fall. Our perseverance to start a family has proven to be well worth it. And worth the wait.

After five years of struggling infertility, Matt & I are still standing. Barely, but we are. Thanks to so many of you – our followers, supporters and prayer warriors. We are standing. And quite honestly, and most importantly, we wouldn’t be where we are now without the generosity of our gestational carrier, Rachel.

On January 12th, we transferred two of our six frozen embryos into our GC. It was a day FULL of emotions. We have been with our fertility clinic since 2014, and being on this side of things was a whole new experience for me. It was weird, but incredible all at the same time. I got to actually watch the embryologist carry our two embryos, in the catheter of course, and hand them off to my RE. IT WAS SO COOL!

We hired a photographer for the day, Jessica Weinstock, and she did an amazing job. I will treasure these photos for years to come. It was such an emotional day, and she truly captured all the feels. Seriously, breathtaking. If you ever need a photographer, I highly recommend her. Click here to check out her work.

We went home after the transfer and our GC was on bed rest all day. We brought her and her husband back to Wisconsin the following day, and the two week wait ensued. Ugh. It was technically only nine days, but those nine days are LONG.

We had our GC, Rachel, start pregnancy testing pretty early and she was getting positives – we were THRILLED. Her first blood beta test was on January 21st – and it was an excellent first number – 244!!! Our clinic likes to see anything over 50 for that first test, so we knew this was great. The highest beta I ever had was 167 with Baby Bello. Rachel had her beta checked again three days later (12dp5dt = 1232), to make sure it was continuing to rise, and then her final beta was at 17 days past 5 day transfer and it was 15,017. All looked right on track for a healthy pregnancy!

 

After the blood tests, came the first ultrasound on February 7th, when Rachel was 6 weeks 3 days pregnant. We couldn’t wait to see our little babe or babies – whichever God gave us, we were prepared for and knew we would be incredibly blessed.

We arrived at our clinic on the 7th for Rachel’s first ultrasound and I was a ball of nerves. I was a mess. As Rachel got ready in the ultrasound room, I was crying in the hallway because I was that nervous. Matt & I have been at this point so many times, and all of the feelings came back in full force. I was also obviously super excited, but just the emotions of all of it took over my body.

We piled into the room – my RE, my nurse, Matt, and myself. I couldn’t look at the screen when the ultrasound first happened because I was too nervous. I looked down at the floor and said to my nurse “touch my arm if it’s okay, and I’ll look up” — and she did! I will NEVER forget that. We got to see our sweet, little babe on the screen! With its little heartbeat of 120! Cue the tears. What a miracle. GOD IS SO GOOD!

 

Rachel hasn’t been feeling the greatest these past few weeks, but she’s such a trooper. This is her fourth pregnancy – so we know she’s a pro!

Yesterday, we had our first appointment with Rachel’s midwife, at 8 weeks 3 days pregnant. Matt & I have only ever made it to 7w5d (with Baby Bello) so each day we are able to make it further, is such an incredible feeling and a day closer to meeting our rainbow baby.

The office only has an ultrasound machine in their other office, so sadly, we weren’t able to see our little babe. BUT, the midwife was able to find the heartbeat on the doppler and it was around 180! That little babe is flourishing and thriving. Waves of emotions overcame us all, as we started to cry when she found the heartbeat.

If you want to see the video clip of the baby’s heartbeat, head on over to our Instagram or Facebook page!

The midwife went over so much with us about pregnancy, the week-by-week, and what to expect. She also sent us with some informational booklets which will be nice.

Rachel is currently 8w4d pregnant and we go back to our fertility clinic Wednesday (Feb 28) for our final appointment with them. After four years, I can hardly believe I’m saying that.

So far, this journey has been incredible, and full of optimism and faith. I have been experiencing so many emotions, I never thought possible and with all the new things I am experiencing not being the one to carry our child. We can’t thank Rachel enough for helping us fulfill our dream of becoming parents. Her heart is truly made of gold and we have the utmost respect and admiration for what she is doing for us. There truly aren’t enough “thank yous” in the world that we could give her to show how much gratitude we have for her and her gift to us.

We hope you all continue to follow along with us on this journey! We are so excited to share this news with all of you!

Baby B is due this fall 2018!

Love to you all,

Erin