2017 is here. Time goes so fast, doesn’t it?
As each year has passed since we have been on our journey to three, I’ve continued to tell myself “this is our year” – and has it been? Definitely not in the way we would have loved – either pregnant or with a baby in our arms. But each year that passes, I know we are that much closer to our miracle. And each year that passes, I reflect on all we have been through and how we have risen above all of it. And survived. We have learned new things, seen new doctors (the best of the best), & tried new protocols — we still are.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, we got some unexpected news at our second beta test. Our fertility clinic knew that if this transfer didn’t work, we would be moving onto surrogacy/gestational carrier. However, when we were discussing how we planned to proceed with our nurse, she informed us that since Obamacare, we now have FOUR egg retrievals PER YEAR. Initially, with our insurance, we had four per lifetime. Having already done three retrievals, we thought we only had one left to try with our gestational carrier.
As soon as she told us this news, it was like a wave hit me – a refreshing wave. I had SO much anxiety about having only one more chance left and we now could start fresh. Matt had his doubts, which I fully understand, but if we could continue to try and I could carry our child, it would mean the world to me. However, I know that if it doesn’t work out, I am ready to use our gestational carrier.
We are ready to start our eighth IVF cycle as soon as my period comes. I continue to work with Dr. Kwak Kim on my immune protocol while we are waiting. Our 20+ pages of consents are signed, our meds are stocked in our fridge, our prayers continue to be said.
I have hope. A new hope. Hope that things will work out how they are supposed to. Hope that WE WILL have a baby in our arms. 2017 is going to be our year. I don’t know how it is going to happen or when it is going to happen, but it is. I just have a feeling.
And for now, that good feeling is what is pushing me forward. Keeping me going and keeping me upright.
And that’s all that matters.