…the ugly

I truly, truly, TRULY try my very best to remain optimistic and in good spirits while going through our first attempt at IVF, but I have to admit — the past few days have been extremely trying, exhausting, and painful. The first few days I was only on 2 shots/day of Follistim (100iu in the AM/125iu in the PM) and have had the same typical side effects — nausea, headache, dizziness, hot flashes, etc. However, they’ve gotten worse since my dosage has increased and the different types of medicine that have been added to my daily regiment.

We had a ultrasound + blood draw yesterday and it didn’t appear that I had that many follicles on my left side, but quite a few on my right. None of them were measuring real big, mostly 9s & 10s {16 is maturity}. There was a nurse filling in for our usual nurse and she was having troubles finding my left ovary (it sits high) so I had to push down on my left side for her which was extremely painful. I’ve been cramping SO much lately because of the meds so this didn’t help. I was almost in tears. Between that & the pressure of the ultrasound probe I was about ready to call it quits as soon as we left the clinic. Is the constant poking, prodding, probing something we as women who go through infertility get used to? Yes, absolutely. But at some point, it’s just too much. After a while, you lose your vulnerability when you’re constantly having to strip down every other day from the waist down and put your legs in the stirrups. I’ve gotten so used to it and it has become so normal for me, it’s like eating a piece of chocolate. And obviously, it’s not as enjoyable as chocolate.

I’m now up to three shots a day — Follistim 350iu, low dose HcG 8 units (this helps with the quality of the eggs), and Ganirelix (keeps from ovulating before the egg retrieval). Besides all these, I take a thyroid pill in the morning + low dose aspirin & prenatals in the evening. My shots are between 6pm-8pm and the Ganirelix is at 10pm. How do I keep track of all this you might ask? I have this fabulous app on my iPhone called RxMindMe. I’m able to put all my medications in there & set alerts for when they are due. See image below:

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I’ve been told to take all my meds with me to work just in case my RE decides to have me take any during the day. So I bring it all, in a cooler with ice packs, since they have to be refrigerated & then set an alarm on my phone close to when I’m leaving work so I don’t forget my meds when I leave. I live an hour from work so it would be pretty bad if I forgot them.

My mom is coming to visit this weekend and I couldn’t be more thrilled. My husband works for the local sheriff’s office, so his schedule is 5 days of work; 3 days off then 5 days of work; 2 days off so he often isn’t home weekends & he works 2nd shift. I’m excited to have someone there with me {especially my mom}  since I’ll have to administer my own shots now. I gave myself my first shot ever last night and it wasn’t too bad. I’m terrified of blood/needles/etc so this was a huge accomplishment for me. My mom will get to go to the fertility clinic with me for the first time tomorrow and I’m super excited for her to be there and see what it’s like.

Here’s another pic of an injection site on my stomach & a picture of me with the St. Gerard {patron of expectant mothers} pendant my BFF got me a couple of months ago. I wear it everyday<3

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I hope you all got a chance to read the previous post by my husband Matt. It’s important to remember that we go through this together — my pain is his pain and vice versa. This journey to three has made us stronger than ever.

Thank you all for your continued outreach of support and prayers. It helps tremendously to ease the pain of our journey through IVF.

XO.

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