Well, I’m still waiting for my AF to arrive…trying to be patient. Ironic I know, that we want to not have our AF SO bad and pray it doesn’t come because it could mean pregnancy, but knowing our next step is IVF is making me so anxious for it to come so we can get started. Yes, that’s right. You read it right. We are going to try IVF this month. No matter the mounds & mounds of all the different emotions I am feeling, it feels right. I’m anxious, scared, nervous, & excited.
It’s the “what ifs” that scare me the most. What if we don’t transfer enough embryos? What if I don’t react to the medicine how I’m supposed to? What if the medicine doesn’t make me feel good? What if we don’t get pregnant? What if the egg retrieval isn’t successful? What if the eggs that are retrieved aren’t “good enough” to make embryos? There are SO many unknowns about IVF but you’ll never know if you don’t try…right? I’m constantly reminding myself I need to be as optimistic as possible, but I still need to be prepared if IVF doesn’t work the first time.
These two weeks waiting for AF to arrive have gone surprisingly fast. However, it helped we had a big cookout at our house with family + friends and my husband & I took a 4 day trip to Washington D.C. with my parents too. One of my best friends, since first grade, came to our cookout from WI and brought my husband & I two St. Gerard pendants & a prayer card to pray to him for motherhood. It was one of the sweetest gestures that I truly treasure & have begun praying to St. Gerard on this journey to three.
The prayer reads as follows:
O good St. Gerard,
powerful intercessor before God
and Wonder-worker of our day,
I call on you and seek your help.
You who on earth did always fulfill God’s design,
help me to do the Holy Will of God.
Beseech the Master of Life,
from whom all paternity proceeded,
to make me fruitful in offspring,
that I may raise up children to God in this life
and heirs to the Kingdom of His glory
in the world to come. Amen.
I will continue to keep everyone posted once everything starts. We will need all the prayers & support that anyone can give. We are blessed with amazing family + friends & can get through anything with them by our side.