Day 12 of the TWW & a difficult decision

Today is Day 12 of the “wonderful” TWW…it’s actually gone surprisingly quick, which is kind of nice. On the day of our IUI, we talked to the nurse about trying IUI + injectables next month if this IUI didn’t work. Because you have to start giving yourself shots @ home on day 2 of your new cycle, we had to order the medicine + syringes that day so we would have them if I wasn’t pregnant from the second IUI. The pharmacy called me that day to set up delivery to our house and it was delivered on Wednesday, July 30. I had to have it delivered when Matt was home because someone had to sign for it. The medicine has to be refrigerated so it came in a box with dry ice. I was given the drug Follistim (a dosage of 300iu & a dosage of 900iu). Without insurance, it costs right around $2,000. You can learn more about Follistim here.To be honest, the list of side effects really freak me out… And now for a difficult decision… It’s really hard for me to even write this right now, but Matt & I have decided that we think it’s best if we take a TRUE break this next month & maybe even the following month. I am so physically, mentally, & emotionally drained that I just need a break from all of this. The drugs that go in my body, the side effects that come with them, my exhaustion, etc…my body feels weak & I feel like it’s telling me I NEED this break. BAD. We have been actively trying since we started Clomid in February – it’s been a solid six months of nonstop medication, doctors visits, blood samples taken, negative pregnancy tests, etc…and right now, I just need a break. It breaks my heart to be taking this break, especially with how bad we want a child, but I know my body needs strength if I were to carry a baby. I need rest & to relax my brain (if that’s even possible). I made sure to reach out to the RN at the clinic to make sure the Follistim we ordered didn’t expire anytime soon – and it stays good for about a year. So we will save it until we are ready to continue our journey. I cannot even thank my husband enough for all of his understanding & support he gives me. He supports me 100% in my decision & agrees we need a break, as does my body. He knows we need to do whatever feels right & right now, it feels right to take a break. I just don’t feel like myself anymore & that’s a horrible feeling. Thanks to those for your continued prayers & support as we will continue to need them while we take this break from “our journey to three” XOXO.